Once you discovered, you'll never walk out His way. .

Has been a Christians after so many years. Went through amazing times in church, serving, ministry and personal relationship with God as well as down times that as dry as a desert, wonder aimlessly in wilderness and felt distance from God. Many has changed and many people come into the companionship, and move on in lives. but one things remains, after 7 years walking with the Lord, it is the Grace of God never, never once in life that let me down and am humbled by all the things that He has done, in Calvary and in people lives. it's so amazing to see Him move, again and again like He's never gonna stop. Have i felt in times that i need a break or a 'pause' in serving God? Countless time! However, not once in life i felt that Grace getting tired of me. for this reason, am forever own by Yours, Lord. in my imperfections, my unworthiness, you found me and gave me a reason to live again. and after some times I still turn away from you. But You loves me still, loves me with greater passion than i could ever possibly comprehend. Sometimes ago i asked myself, how can a person be backslides from God if he truly knows the depth of love God has for them. As for me, i know that since the moment i accepted Him to be my Lord, this is a no turning back journey and i can not deny that fact that He is so awesome to me! More than words can describes. The Way He fills me, the Way He comforts me, the way He loves me, oh i could not turn away my face and treat as if He's never exist before. God, i choice to to walk with you, in my imperfections, i will strive to loves you with all that i am, to the day that your desire become my desire, and to the day that i finally stand before you, i'll walk this journey with you and no turning back!

Peter and us..

it has been 2 years since my last post.. today let's talk about an interesting man named Peter. Peter is the most charismatic follower of Jesus and he also been famous also but his 'big-mouth' reputation. why so? the reason being is that he always speak the wrong thing and don't really process his word before it comes out from his mouth.

On Mat 16 Peter made a remarkable confession to Jesus that He is the Messiah, this was remarkable because there is none making such a brave and dangerous statement that one is the Son of God that come to deliver all from sins. through this revelation from God, Jesus blessed Peter and Prophesied that great things will be done through Peter and he will be the rock where Jesus stands on Earth.

however, the next incident after Peter confession is that Peter speak something that totally opposite of what he done the previous verses. and this time Jesus confronted him, rebuke and address Peter as 'Satan, go away from me'.. Wow, what a turn for dear Peter who blessed by Jesus the other day and now degrade to 'Satan'. What are the problems here?

Peter saw what other people can't see, that he declared Jesus is the Messiah, and for that Jesus praise him and regarded him as faith. but Peter misunderstood the whole purpose of The Messiah, taking the form of man and descended to earth. To Peter, maybe the rest of the followers, sees Jesus going to build a earthly kingdom that will aims to overrule the Roman Empire. Interestingly, the famous Jesus's quote of the cost of following Him come after this incident. What profit is the man who gain the whole world but loses his own soul, Jesus asked. Jesus's desire is to build a spiritual kingdom, but the followers were expecting the earthly kingdom here and now.
therefore, what are the roles of Peter playing in this whole Messiah conversation?

Sometimes Peter's desire reflected in our lives while walking closely to God. We see, visualize what God can do in our lives, but the dangers lie when our expectation do not match with God's intended plan. We felt that we are called for something, for greatness. Yes praise the Lord, and all glory to God. but we need to remind ourselves that we are building God's kingdom not our kingdom. Many people distorted or stray away after the reach the place of promise. but not knowing that the real challenges come after the promise and many fails on the task of maintaining. Just take a look after Israel conquer the promise land, many stumble and sin against God. Therefore, bear in mind that in all that we are doing, striving to glorify God, always put His thoughts higher than our thoughts. and know that it is He who gave us our visions and dreams and we are merely the steward of his dream for us.

Be a good steward of dream, multiply it and harvest it for God! Just like how Peter spread the good news to people, God multiply his dream and Peter fix his eye on the Lord rather than he and himself.

daniel's 3 friends

i recieve a picture while praying in church. i saw a light shine from heaven and it light up a circle which happen i was standing in the middle. i could see clearly what's is within the circle, maybe three to four steps distance but i could see nothing beyond the circle because it was too dark to see anything. 'what are you trying to tell me, God?' i asked.

i did not understand on the spot, i try to interpret the picture by refering to a verse from psalm saying that 'GOd's word is the light unto my feet and the lamb unto my path', so maybe i thought what God was trying to tell me it's to read His word more and He will light the rest of the path for me. but i still cannot conclude that statement.

and when i got home, i read my daily bible reading and found myself in daniel chapter 3. i finally got my eureka moment when i read about daniel's 3 friend refuse to bow down to the statue and replied the king that they will not bow down to any idol even to the point of death, regardless of whether GOd will come to rescue them ornot, they will still not to disobey God. and this statement strike me tremendously.

firstly, i was reminded by the scripture that there is no GUARANTEE in serving God. otherwise it will become an insuran policy that attract selfish people to gain advantage from GOd. and that not what GOd want from his people. and that's the whole point, nothing in life is GUARANTEE. you do not know what will happen to you when you choose to stand up for God or your conviction, God did not promise rescue on the spot, in fact many people become matryn when they stand up for what they believe in. and i believe their courage do not come from whether GOd will come to rescue them ornot, but it's the reckless faith that they shown to GOd by total obedience even to the point of
death. these people have great reward awaiting for them in heaven.

the light that shine in the circle allow me to see what i can do or where should i step out, but it's the place where i cannot see anything will define my relationship, devotion and commitment
to my God. it's so easy if we got everything plan out for us, but when we move into the realm of unknowing, faith take place and only those who remain faithfull till the end shall see the glory of GOd.

to summarize, have faith in GOd, even though the place where you will step into is on solid ground or surface of water, whether you will stand still or fall into the water, do the best you know how, even if God did not come true. Say to yourself that you will not give up and will remain faithful to Him! this is the faith of revivalist, die to see the fire fall down from heaven!

my Strength, Fortress and Refuge.

Jeremiah 16: 19a

" Lord, you are my strength and fortress, my refuge in the day of troubles!"

In times when I'm weak, You are there to strengthen me,
and I wonder why I did not noticed Your presence?
In times when I'm fighting against my own will, You are there to fight with me
and how could I ever to miss that?
In times when I'm overloaded with my circumstances, You are there to comfort me
and why am I no remember our secret place?

I know You always will, but why am I keep on forgetting that.

Usual Night. Unusual Things

it's has been a while since my last blog. To be frank, I seriously think that I'm losing the fire to keep writing.
This year has been a real challenge to me. Second year of Uni is surely not a vacation to me. assignments after assignments, presentation after presentation. Oh man when can I get over all these! some people said ' maturity comes by how well you handle responsibility', well I guess I still have a long way to go.
it is another usual night for me, still awake at 2 a.m.. but something unusual about tonight, instead of doing my assignment, i was spending my mid night in my secret place.
I love spending time with God in the middle of the night. probably one of the quiet moment in my day, but i'm most awake during that hour. many things has caught me up during the day, assignment, emails, movies, youtube and PS2, maybe i should consider fasting them this week for Easter.
I was reading Jeremiah 15 today, the Lord replied Jeremiah's complaint of his ministry and his circumstances;

This is how the Lord responds:
“If you return to me, I will restore you
so you can continue to serve me.
If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
do not let them influence you!

God is amazing. It speaks right into my heart. sometimes it only takes you less than 5 mins to discover what God trying to speak to you. God promise that if we return to Him, He will 'rest' in us + 'store' up blessing for us. what's more can you ask if you have the creator of heaven and earth promise to come and restore you if you make your way back to him.

"What can i do, but praise You,
what can i do, but give my heart to You,
You broke into my darkness and give me the hope
my soul rest well in you, our secret place,
where is my journey begin.

An Honorable Ambition?

To aspire to leadership is an honorable ambition. I Tim 3:1

Should you then seek great things for yourself? Seek them not Jeremiah 45:5

Mark 10:42-44

' You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them."
Not so with you, says the Lord..."Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all"

how many of us today serve God with a unworthy motivation, or seeking prestige or greatness in doing His works? God is perfectly fine with us for being ambitious, but He is concerns about the force driven behind our ambitions. As a believer of Jesus Christ we ought to lead by a deep love for Christ and genuine concern for others (Love God with passion and love people with compassion).

Reflect yourself today, is Jesus our passion? Or He is just a step way for you to climb higher on your 'spiritual career'?

'Because we children of Adam want to become great,
He became small.
Because we will not stoop,
He humbled Himself.
Because we want to rule,
He came to serve.

Life Verse

Psalm 24:3-6

3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob.